So lately....I have been going through a little mini depression. And it's not like this is the first time this happens but I'm mad at myself because I still keep letting it happen! Lately I have been looking into starting a music career and exactly how I should go about it and trying to find out what exactly my type of "style" of music I want to make would be. So like anyone else I go to look for artist that I really like and look up to in the music industry. And one of those people that I have been getting into latley is Rihanana! Before I liked Rihanna and I thought she was a talented and pretty woman but NOW I AM OBSESSED WITH HER! I have just been looking at her stories and her success and how she got started in the music industry. Well beside her I have been looking at younger up-coming artist like Justine Skye, Kash Doll, Sevyn Streeter, etc... and I was just looking at their success and began to compare myself with them. Especially with Justine Skye, she is a year younger than me but is already WAY MORE successful than I am right now. I also started to compare myself with Alex of RANIA and looking at her success and we are the SAME AGE!!! I'm not gonna lie I go jealous because.....THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME!!! If I worked hard enough, if I was more active in the industry, if I had more connections....that could have been me. I just....I feel like ALL THESE YEARS I've just been wasting time! Time that I could have put into my career...I'm 21 going to be 22 this year and I'm already SOOOO LATE in the game I don't even feel like I'll catch up... I feel like I've been so lazy because I've been slacking up on missed opportunities. To tell you the truth...I feel that way right now... and I know I shouldn't compare myself to other because...these are ALL DIFFERENT LIVES and I can't compare my hustle to next hustle. They just worked with what they had and that's why they have the success the have. I just gotta work with what I got and get my success as well BUT I just wish that it didn't take this long for to find that out.
Because I have grown up in a small town and if you want to be in the entertainment business there aren't a lots of opportunities for that where I'm from. And my mother doesn't know anything about the business. She didn't have connections or anything like that. She was a single mom trying to provide for family. She didn't really have the time or the money to do stuff like that. Plus, since she didn't know anything about the business she couldn't give me any advice on how to go about it. But she always supported me in dreams and she always keep me motivated to continue to do it. So as a child I never thought that my dreams could be possible. I knew I wanted to be a pop-star like Rihanna and Beyonce but I didn't know how to go about and I lacked resources so I just never had it as an option. But it wasn't until I got into K-pop and seeing that I could go to auditions and they could train me to become a pop-star and that was the only time that I thought my dream could be somewhat possible and I could make it an actual reality. So I have been auditioning for several companies now and I'm still auditioning but its getting to the point where I am just becoming very IMPATIENCE! Idols are starting to debut at younger and younger ages so that alone makes me feel like..."WHAT EXACTLY AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?!?!?" and I'm just start to feel....OLD.....I feel old and I feel like if I haven't made it by now than there is no more need in trying anymore.
BUT you know what?! I HAVE TO STOP COMPARING MYSELF WITH OTHERS!!!! Everyone's life is different and God has different plans for ALL OF US! So what he has in store for me is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than what he has for someone else. What God gave them was THEIR blessing and now I have to get MY OWN blessing. I can't compare myself. When I do that I just like I am stuck in time and the world is just leaving behind............................... But I know better now that I can't compare myself to someone else. They live a completely different life, and had completely different opportunities. They worked hard so I have to work hard too. ^_^
Inspirational quotes of the day is.....
― Lailah Gifty Akita
“Comparison is the death of joy.”
― Mark Twain
“I cannot say this too strongly: Do not compare yourselves to others. Be true to who you are, and continue to learn with all your might.”
― Daisaku Ikeda, Discussions on Youth
“People have one thing in common; they are all different.”
~ Robert Zend
“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.”
~ Doris Mortman
Lesson to learn:
You may think everyone is better than you are, but you are only seeing the image they portray to others. Everyone has their own fears and weaknesses — after all, we're all human. Stop comparing yourself to others, because you'll always come up short.
Inspirational Songs of Today is....
Fantasia - I Believe
So there you go...I hope you are healthy, loved and safe. Have a wonderful week ^_^
